Tuesday, June 7, 2011

wait! this wasn't in the agreement

May I whine a bit? Okay, I know sometimes I'm inclined to whine quite a bit, but today has been exceptionally stressful. I am not unused to limitation, some of it has even been self-imposed as cautionary measure.

I've given up cream in my coffee. I really like cream, real heavy organic whipping cream, drizzled into hot, strong, dark-roasted and freshly ground coffee. I've given up incredible cheeses, sour cream, and creme fresh. (Sorry, I'm too stressed to use the French spelling.) I don't eat whole-grain sour dough bread, or even think of freshly glazed maple bars from our famed local bakery, Smith's. No ice cream, no ravioli, no lasagne. But, but, but...today I got a new "no."

I don't like going to doctors. Doctors are just fine; I just don't like being a patient. But things with my body have just not been responding s they should, so...I've been doing the consults, exams, tests, etc. and today, well sort of last night, I got the news that my blood sugar is too high. I'm not diabetic, just something they call pre-diabetic---a dumb term if there ever was one. My instructions are to watch my carbohydrates. Damn, I thought I'd made an art form out of watching my carbohydrates, but this is a bit different. The few I could eat, or thought I could eat, safely are now off the table. Even cherries, and cherries are only here for about one month a year. I'd like to live on them.

I know it's not horrible. There is much worse going on all around us, but today, this is my day and my focus. Tomorrow I will, hopefully, be able to think of something else---like the pantry post and the bean salad recipe I promised. But for today, I'm stuck in this yucky mental place thinking about the additional foods that are now out of play for me.

I wanted a bottle of wine and a rare steak for dinner, but we're having heirloom squash with grass-fed beef, onions, and tomatoes. It'll be good. Another day I would have thought it great, but today is my whiny day.

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