Thursday, January 26, 2012

when a foodie isn't

Most of my life, for as far back as I can remember, has revolved around food. I plan trips around where we'll eat, what we'll take to eat, how often we'll stop to eat. Grocery shopping for me is not an ordeal. It's an adventure. I get more excited over spotting a Whole Foods than a Neiman Marcus. Williams Sonoma feels like a home away from home. I started subscribing to food magazines like Bon Appetit and Gourmet while I was still in my teens.

Over the years though, there have been times, and not just short ones, when I just did not feel like cooking, times when I didn't even like my kitchen. Those times felt odd but not so foreign as to confuse me. Once, several years ago, I was so out of sinc with food, cooking, and my health that I subscribed to Nutrisystems and had them send me yucky pre-packaged, processed food for several months. I simply didn't want to cook and didn't want to think about food. It was an odd time in my life, the only time I have ever lived alone, so maybe that had something to do with my extreme disassociation with cooking and health. I'm still not sure.


sometimes plain ol' chicken drumsticks just sound good
These days, I mostly love cooking. "Mostly" being the operative word here. Some days I don't want to enter the kitchen and seriously bemoan the fact that eating out, fast food, and ready to serve processed food simply are not options for me. Period. Most days I get jazzed over grass-fed beef, wild-caught fish, and local organic vegetables. Some days I actually wish I could drive through a Taco Bell. Now, that doesn't sound like a foodie at all, I know. And Taco Bell is not the worst of my non-foodie fantasies. It's just the worst I'm willing to acknowledge right now. It gets pretty ugly.

I suppose on a very basic level I should be happy that giving into even one of these (occasional) urges would make me painfully ill for days. I'm much better off whining because I will never again eat a Baby Ruth candy bar than putting it in my body and hating myself for it.

7 comments:

  1. Yes, there is something to be said for feeling so bad after indulging in "junk food" (my first fateful memories are of donuts-for-breakfast binges, as a child).

    ....and I guess it follows that we will not be the least bit tempted by Burger King's recent decision to test the Home Delivery market!! That is definitely something to be grateful for. :]

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    1. No, I think we're pretty safe from that temptation. Safe from acting on it, anyway. And yes, there sure is something to be said for feeling so bad, though sometimes I would really like to be able to order a rich slice of cheesecake or take a bite out of a stick of pastured butter.

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  3. Girl I can so relate to just not feeling it about cooking lately.. I have been so off kilter, just utterly exhausted. I haven't even wanted to go grocery shopping which is crazy, it's one of my favorite things to do... but I just haven't even felt like it..Poor Michael has had so many cereal nights it isn't even funny... it's usually even something mostly paleo, a chicken breast or a homemade hamburger patty or a pan-cooked steak... but so boring!! Nothing fun... Hopefully I'll get out of this funk once I get the book finished... and I SO wish I had your resolve never to eat a candy bar again... sometimes my willpower absolutely SUCKS!

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    1. You know you'll have more energy for your own meals after you've finished your book. It's funny, isn't it, how even foods we like can start feeling ho-hum when we have them a lot or lose our excitement about them. I'm a rare steak nut, but these days I just don't even want to think about steak. I can't think of a food right now that excites me. Fortunately, I know this will pass. I just want it be be now. It's funny how habits change. I don't know when I last ate a candy bar, but it's been years. I don't think it's willpower, though. I think it's fear.

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  4. I usually like cooking, probably a control issue for me. That way I can leave out mushrooms, tarragon,black olives, and anything else I don't like. Planning menus is another story! Sometimes I wish my family would just tell me what they want so I can prepare it. As for sweets. Not very interested in them, I blame my mother, in a good way of course. When my brother and I were kids we would delight in seeing raisin bran at home. The only sugar cereal we were allowed on VERY rare occasions.

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    1. (sigh) I miss raisin bran. Of course, it's been decades since I ate any, but I can still miss it.

      Sometimes I feel the same way about planning a meal. I ask what sounds good and get a questioning stare instead of an answer. My favorite, though, is when I say we should just go out to dinner. Knowing it's totally safe, he smiles and says, "Sure, where would you like to go? What could you eat?" I hang my head and go to my kitchen.

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