where do we go from here?

Following a new program, food-wise, can be fun and exciting in the beginning. So much is new. So much is intriguing. And there's just so much to learn. What's not to love?

After a while, though, the newness fades and then it's just life. It's daily meals. It's shopping. It's cooking. It's planning. It's sometimes far less than exciting. It's a strange predicament for a foodie with health issues. You love to cook. You love to eat. But...you also want to get through the day without pain and pills.

Lately, I've begun to experience a bit of ambivalence about food. In fact, I feel a bit at odds with myself most days. It seems like I cook all the time and that I don't cook at all. It seems I write all the time and that I don't write at all. Some days I'm a health nut and some days a wine enthusiast. Some days I feel like a food snob. Some days I'd give almost anything to be able to order a pizza. Or Chinese food. Or eat ice cream. Or Linn's olallieberry pie. With whipped cream.

Of course, I don't follow any of those self-destructive whims. But even now, as I try to express this often frustrating side-trip in my food world, my mind keeps turning to foods I will, in all likelihood, never even taste again. Gooey, cheesy, lasagne for instance. I always recommend focusing on the foods you love that love you back---or at the very least, don't attack when you least expect it. Usually, I follow my own advice with ease. But sometimes, it's harder. Sometimes I feel neither creative nor practical. Sometimes I wish I could simply eat a slice of Pyrenees bread, slathered in butter and follow that with some creamy Point Reyes blue cheese.

One place I look for inspiration at times like these is to other food bloggers, to Facebook foodie friends, and Paleo books and articles. And if I can keep myself from constantly gravitating towards the few dishes that include butter, I am able to find the fun once again. Not for good, but for awhile. For I am convinced, we will not likely ever arrive at a place where all is done and settled, where creativity and excitement are constants. We have to continually recreate that new feel, that excitement we had at the start. And looking to one another may be the very best way to do that. I will be back to foodie talk and recipes soon. Thanks for bearing with me.